Hey there! so i had another post planned for today but things have happened that has made me want to talk about something that ive kept on the quiet side for a while now, but i want to speak about it so that anyone else in my situation knows they are not alone.
So almost a year ago now i started randomly falling asleep at my desk, it didnt seem like a big deal at first, just that every now and then i would wake up at my desk. I thought it wasnt a big problem and i was just being a bit silly not sleeping enough, but it continued to happen becoming more and more common, even if i had hours and hours of sleep the night before. 6 months down the line, it was becoming almost a daily occurrence that i would at some point wake up at my desk.
And this was the thing, i never had a warning, never felt sleepy or like i was going to fall asleep, just one minute i was awake and the next i was waking up. I got really bad pretty fast, and i was soon passing out regularly for anywhere between 5 minutes to 2 hours, i would go out at any point, even when speaking or playing a video game, sat on the edge of my bed and waking up falling off onto the floor was also not the most fun id ever had.
So when i saw my doctor next, i mentioned it too her i explained how i had a friend with narcolepsy and a lot of my issues lined up with hers, but i did understand that it could be sleep apnoea too though i didnt really seem to fit the daytime sleepiness of that. But of course, due to my weight my doctor said sleep apnoea straight off the bat, especially when i said i snore and said she would “look into” going to a sleep clinic and let me know before i next saw her, of course she didnt.
3 months down the line, and i am really struggling, ive not been able to do things due to passing out, ive passed out on hair brushes and the marks that i get on my arms begin to be amusing, i have to find a sliver lining somewhere right? i fall off my bed again, and now i even pass out while i sit down waiting for things to cook, resulting in a number of burnt meals. I dream really vividly when i pass out, confusing my already confused brain when i wake up. I turn to caffeine to try and stay awake and it helps a little, but not has much as i need.
Back to the doctors i go, and she hasnt looked into sleep clinics of course but she has a questionnaire that should show if im within normal levels of “sleepiness” (i explained a number of times that i never felt sleepy). I do the questionnaire but so many of the questions either dont apply to me (for example, would you fall asleep at work when i dont work) or they are ones like would you fall asleep in a moving car, when for me personally cars have sent me to sleep since i was a baby. After this questionaire she says i am within normal levels, and any problems i am having will fix themselves once i loose weight, she does do my oxygen levels (which would be effected if i had sleep apnoea) and they are completely normal, so she sends me on my way.
This was 2 days ago, and i was stunned, are you freaking kidding me? so passing out for hours at a time with no idea its happening and falling over is normal? im never normal, and this is certainly no exception. I came out of the doctors really annoyed and upset.
Now in a bid to try and get back on track i wanted to try and get out of the village for the first time since may on friday. So i go to bed early, i get up and i start getting ready and im sat at my dressing table doing my makeup when the next thing i know its over an hour later and im coming around and god i just wanted to scream. being out for that long meant i had ran out of time, because i can only leave the house with my mum and she works a split shift by the time i had finished getting ready i wouldn’t of made it out leaving enough time for her to rest and get to work on time. I am so fucking upset and frustrated that its effecting me to this point yet the doctor deemed it “normal”.
I dont know why i haven’t spoken about too much until now, but i think it about time so that anyone else suffering like this knows they are not alone in this extremely frustrating situation. I plan to go see another doctor, and hope that i am listened too this time, fingers crossed!