Emotionally Broken – If Only I Was Ok.


Hey, so im sure from the name of my blog gave it away but i will regularly talk about mental health on my little blog here. Sometimes it may be something happening with me (like todays post) and sometimes it may be more general. Im calling this series emotionally broken, ive called mental health series that for a while now and it just makes sense!

So, I personally have suffered with mental Illness since i was 11 years old, currently i have severe generalised anxiety disorder, depression, agoraphobia and abnormal eating disorder. yep, quite the list!

Today, i wanted to talk about what ive been feeling over the past few days because i have been feeling many, many things and its a lot.

Its all been brought on because a few friends of mine that i have known for about 2 years are all meeting at a event tomorrow and well, i for obvious reasons am not there and it quite honestly? is fucking killing me.

Ive wanted to go to this event since the first one 3 years ago, The first one i watched via the steam (its a gamer event) feeling a mix of happiness and just…i dont know how to describe it. Because its not exactly jealously, i am so very happy for my friends, but i wish with every single part of me that i was there too.

6 years ago i was signed off from my job at the time, and since then my mental and physical health as just plummeted. Ive found ways to still have things in my life, the internet is my complete saviour but its just not the same.

I dont have a life, i dont live, i exist and god id give anything for that not to be the case. Id give everything just to have a normal day, take my problems for a day, let me have that 1 day and ill have them back for the rest of my life, thats fine ill take it. But it doesnt work like that, i cant do that.

Every event, every wedding, every baby, every good grade, every hoilday, hell every walk in the park i see someone do on social media i always think, “why cant i do that”.

i try, i try very hard to get better & good grief do i try my best to stay positive but sometimes? sometimes i just cant be anymore, sometimes like now, i just want to be a normal 25 year old, and live my life as i want too.

Im sorry for the way this post as gone, i didnt mean to get so emotional! but im not removing it, this is something i want to make sure gets out there, the truest rawest side of mental illness. Because it isnt pretty, it isnt nice and one thing is for sure, it isnt shown enough in its true form.

so welcome to emotionally broken, it wont be very happy, but it will be real.

Cath x

Picture used is not mine.

Makeup Revolution Pro Regeneration Trends Mischief Mattes Review & swatches.

Hey! so this is the first time ive talked about a makeup revolution product on my blog unless its just been listed in a makeup look but trust me it wont be the last! i adore makeup revolution, freedom, obsession products and my makeup collection shows that for sure!

well, a few weeks ago there summer sale started so of course i was straight onto there site (i may have placed another order the day im typing this too…opps), and placed a rather large order, however this palette was not in the sale. It was something i new from the moment it was released i was gonna be ordering the next time i made an order with them, so i did!

This is the Makeup Revolution Pro Regeneration Trends Mischief Mattes palette £8.00, and yes its got one heck of a name! but its worth it because for £8 its an extremely good matte eyeshadow palette.

It contains a wide selection of colours but its of course mainly brights, with a white and a beige thrown in too. Below ive swatched all of the shadows, this is all one swipe, though i will say i was rather warm when i swatched them hence the skipping due to warm hands!

From left to right – Saint, Attached, New Day, Day Dream, Half Time, Believer.
From left to right – Ringleader, Fearless, Shrine, Indication, Crusade, Poison.

From left to right – Upperhand, Underdog, Ricochet, Exclusive, Haunted, Cursed.

As you can see, theres a really good selection of colours, you have your more “wearable” pinks and purples, blues and greens and even a yellow! yellow and red eyeshadow are the two colours i really struggle to find yet the two in this palette are really good. The pigment is extremely good, i mean look at these swatches! for cheaper mattes its crazy, they blend out really nicely and as long as you prime (and i always do) they are going to stay put, even on my very oily hooded lids. I couldnt honestly recommend these enough, ive had trouble not picking it up for every look i do at the minute!

have you tried this palette? did you love it as much as i did? let me know!

Cath x

Unless otherwise stated all products are bought by me and all opinions are my own.

LGBT Pride Makeup Look!

Hey! so first post on my new blog, as some of you know i started blogging again a few weeks ago, however i stopped for a bit to move from blogger to wordpress! i am now self hosted, and with a name change too! so what better for my first post than something as important as my pride look this year. I knew i wanted to do something very special, and i hope i have done that justice! it took a while, so i hope you enjoy this.

Eyebrow Covering and Face Makeup – 
Washable Glue Stick.
MUA Skin Define Hydro Powder.
Freedom Pro Camouflage Full Coverage Concealer.
Freedom Pro Camouflage & correct in Yellow.
Makeup Revolution Fast Base Stick Foundation In F1.
MUA Skin Define Hydro Powder.

Mask
Purple – NYX Hot Shots Eyeshadow In Ultra Violet.
Blue – Makeup Revolution Pro Regeneration Mischief Mattes Palette –  Indication.
Green – Urban Decay Full Spectrum Palette – Hatter.
Yellow – Makeup Revolution Pro Regeneration Mischief Mattes Palette – New Day.
Orange – Makeup Revolution Pro Regeneration Mischief Mattes Palette – Daydream.
Red – Makeup Revolution Pro Regeneration Mischief Mattes Palette And The 120 Palette – Half Time.
A Number of different Pen style Liquid Liners.
Bourjois Liner Pinceau Liquid Liner.
Soap & Glory Thick And Fast Mascara.
Ebay False Eyelashes.

Lips
MUA  Luxe Velvet Lip Lacquer In Potent.
Freedom Lip Gloss In Black.

There you go! i hope you enjoy this and i will see you again in the next post.

Cath x

Garnier SkinActive Botanical Balm and Jelly 3 in 1.

Hey, so about two months ago i was in a superdrug when i spotted these new products from Garnier. Im a big fan of Garnier skincare, and i really like the idea of balm or jelly like products so i had to give these a go when i saw them.

The two in the range are the Garnier SkinActive Botanical Balm Soothing Moisturiser Rose Water  £12.99 and the Garnier SkinActive Refreshing Botanical Jelly Aloe Vera £12.99.

First off, these pots are big! They hold 150ml of product, so even though they are not the cheapest thing around, you can find them on offer quite often they last you months, ive been using these every day for at least 2 months and you can see they haven’t gone down much. They contain no parabens, no silicone’s and according to the tub 96% natural origin ingredients (though of course, that could mean anything!).

First up, the Refreshing Botanical Jelly, this one is a clear jelly, its very refreshing and cooling, if you have ever seen the illamasqua hydra veil it feels very much like that! it feels like barely anything on the skin, like theres nothing there. Yet my skin doesnt feel dry or tight, especially right now with the weather like its been lately (highs of 31c in the south east of the UK today) its actually one of the only things i can bare to put on my skin right now. Ive used it as a day and night cream, you can also use it as a mask but it feels a bit odd on my skin, it made my skin tingle weirdly! but as a moisturiser i love it.

The Botanical Balm is what first drew me to the the tubs on the shelf, its not quite that true super thick balm texture its more like a really thick cream. however once on the skin though you know its there, it doesnt feel overly heavy or anything like that. it melts easily and into your skin, leaves very spot feeling skin. This is my night cream, and even if im falling into bed at 3am (shhh) i can reach for this throw it on and im good, and that is so useful! this is also really hydrating just for any other dry patches you may have. again, didnt really like it as a mask but i adore it as a balm/cream.

overall i really like these moisturisers, ive been using them everyday for 2 months and i will continue to do so until i run out and then i will likely buy them again! in fact, i dont really think its much of a question that i will. And i do highly suggest picking these up!

Cath x

 

Bi Pride Inspired Makeup Look.

Hey! so, im cath and welcome to my little place on the internet. I used to blog, a number of years ago and since then i have also tried my hand at youtube in the past as well. Lately, i have really wanted to come back into the world of blogging so well here i am!

My blog will be about makeup & beauty, something i have loved and been passionate about for many many years now. It will also be however about another important topic in my life, mental illness and of course anything else that i feel like talking about really!

So, for my first post i wanted show you a look i did at the weekend, as im sure a lot of you are aware it is currently pride month. Because of this i have been trying to do as many looks based on various pride flags as possible, i have done gender queer and this weekend i did the Bi flag.

The Bi flag means a lot to me as i am bi myself, i didnt come out or even figure out that i was bi myself until last year so this is a look that i knew i wanted to make very special as it has a lot of emotion behind it for me.


I knew i wanted too do something slightly different to what i normally do, i dont generally do this 3 colour blend but wanted to get this colour transition correct. The pink and blue blending into purple is a really important point made on the bi flag.

As a quick side note my side was rather dry and flaky so please forgive that weird texture you can see on the highlight! Its so hot here in the UK right now and my skin is really not liking it.

Below is a list of products i used and how i used them roughly, i hope you like this look!

Eyes –

Bourjois 24H Eye Primer.

Imagic 12 Colour Flash Palette – Used the white cream all over the lid to make the colours stand out, the pink & blue for my brows.

NYX Liquid Suede Lipstick In Amethyst – for the purple on my eyebrows.

Makeup Revolution Single Eyeshadow In Touch Me – Used to set the primer and base.

Makeup Revolution Pro Regeneration trends Mischief Mattes – Used Indication, fearless and underdog for brows and also the blue and pink sections of my crease.

Nyx Hot Singles Eyshadow In Ultra Violet – used for the purple sections of my brow and crease.

Storybook Cosmetics Wizardry and Witchcraft Eyeshadow Palette – used Merlin for the lid colour for the blue section.

Fashionista Single Eyeshadow In Flamboyant – lid colour for the purple section.

Urban Decay Full Spectrum Palette – used gossip for the lid colour for the pink section.

Bourjois Liner Pinceau Liquid Liner.

Maybelline Total Temptation Mascara.

False eyelashes from ebay.

Face – 

Evio Green Tea Primer.

Freedom Concealer Correcting Pots In Yellow, Liliac and Green.

Max Factor FaceFinity Foundation In Light Ivory.

Obsession Mixer In Whitening.

PopFeel HD Concealer In FB01.

Miss Beauty Pressed Powder In Ivory.

NYX Blusher In Taupe.

Makeup Revolution Matte Blusher In Divine (Discontinued).

Freedom Ghost Lights Highlighter.

Lips –

NYX Liquid Suede Metallic In Ego.

Purple Glitter from Ebay.

There you have it! i hope you enjoyed my first look and post on this blog and hope to see you again soon.

Cath x