Boots haul & mini reviews march 2019


Hey there! So its not a surprise to anyone that once i made a boots order in February the flood gates slightly opened!. To be honest, now that i leave the house a lot more i do find that i need a lot more these days, going through things etc now that i actually, you know use them!

Anyway, the main reason i wanted to make an order was because in my last boots order i had gotten the new loreal elvive rapid reviver for damaged hair and had loved it and wanted to order more. Annoyingly, i ended up ordering the wrong one! but of course, i couldn’t order just that, to be fair i did have vouchers granting more points etc so i had reasons…honest.

Anyway, first off i will start with the hair care i picked up, as i mentioned i did want to get the ones for damaged hair from the loreal paris rapid reviver range but i ended up getting the Loreal paris elvive colour protect rapid reviver power conditioner £5.50 which is for coloured hair instead, which is annoying but so far its alright! do prefer the damaged hair one however.

Next thing i got was another hair product, Garnier ultimate blends hair food coconut oil hair mask £6.99, i got the papaya one last time and really liked it, so as i tend to do im just working my way around the garnier hair masks! i love how big this pot is.

I didnt get much skincare this time around, this time only getting yet another pot of my favourite nip + fab glycolic fix exfoliating cleansing pads £13.59 for skincare, i forget how much i love these until i get them again!

I have really needed a new lip balm for a while now so i picked up the eucerin dry skin intensive lip balm £6.00, but so far its rather meh, i am yet to find the perfect lip balm for me, its a never ending search!

I havent tried a new face primer in ages, so i picked up the loreal paris infallible primer shots in pore refining £8.99, ive tried this twice and so far my biggest bug bear with this is that it separates in the bottle so you get like a slightly oily liquid that comes out too.

Soap & glory thick & fast high definition collagen-c mascara £10.50 is my go to mascara, and i have been in bad need of a new tube for longer than im willing to admit! but i have a new tube now, thankfully and im so glad. This mascara gives length and volume and doesn’t irritate my eyes so yay!

I have been thinking about trying out the NYX cant stop wont stop 24-hour foundation £15.00 for a while now, and i finally gave in! after having a look around i got it in light porcelain and im impressed because its actually bang on pretty much shade match wise. Ive tried it twice so far and i am super impressed, but will do a full review once ive tried it a few more times!

Ive always had this thing about trying different concealers, so after having a look around i took a gamble and got the barry m all night long concealer in milk £4.49, i say it was a gamble because the face products ive tried from barry m in the past tend to never be pale enough but colour me surprised! it actually matches me really well, havent tried it enough yet, but lets wait and see.

so barry m was on spend £8 and get a free mascara, i wasnt going to say no to that! so i got something ive thought about getting for ages, the barry m holographic eyeshadow topper £4.99 in blue/purple. I love the look of people wearing these people toppers but never think i could really pull it off, but i finally caved and picked this one up, ive been playing with it a little bit and god its so pretty! now to just get the courage to actually wear it.

And the mentioned free mascara was the barry m lash vegas 2 mascara £4.99, i honestly wasnt that impressed with the first lash vegas, but im willing to give this a go!

So there you! i need to you know, stop buying things….soon.

Cath x

100 posts.

Hey there! so this post is my 100th post on this blog, mad right? I made this blog in july of last year, finally choosing to come back to blogging after a 4 year break away from it. I had forgotten for sure how tough blogging can be, but i very much enjoy it too! for my 100th post, i thought i would do a round up of some of my notable posts and other little random bits of information.

since July paint the face of anxiety has been viewed 2,973 times.

100 posts have a total of 43 comments.

8 of the 100 posts are makeup looks.

9 are in my emotionally broken series.

43 comments have been left on various posts.

My first post was posted on the 13th of July 2018 and it was a look based on the bisexual pride flag.

Continuing the pride looks i did a look for LGBTQ+ pride overall, taking over 3 hours to draw on by hand.


On the 14th of august 2018 i turned 26 and i posted 26 things i had learnt in 26 years.

My first post in my emotionally broken series was posted on the 18th of july 2018, letting everyone into the mess in my head.

I got my first pr sample in the form of the mask time subscription box
on the 16th of august 2018, many squeals happened!

I posted my first post in my therapy diaries series on the 28th of September 2018, the day after i started therapy.

I wrote & published my very first sponsored post on the 6th of November 2018 about movies that mean christmas to me.

On the 4th of December i posted my haul from the first time i got involved in black Friday, i very much enjoyed myself!

On the 28th of December i showed you what i got for christmas and talked about the first christmas i had enjoyed in years.

On the 7th of January i talked about the fear of therapy coming to an end, the fear of my progress going backwards.

On the 24th of February i talked about the past, and how you cant change it and it does shape you, but thats ok after a very interesting dream.

On the 2nd of march, i had my final therapy session and called an end to that chapter in my life, hoping to carry what she taught me forward.

And on the 8th of march i finally played with makeup again for the first time in months and did this elemental mermaid look, with glitter of course!.

I can find it hard to find the motivation and the time to write my blog i haven’t been has committed to it as i would like, but looking back on everything i have done reminds me that ive done more than i think!

I hope to keep my blog up for another 100 posts and more, and i hope to continue trying to grow it this year, and thankyou for anyone that is reading this, so much!

Cath x

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Skincare Review.

Hey there! so in a boots haul a few weeks ago, i picked up a few products from the Neutrogena hydro boost skincare range, i picked up the hydro boost gelee milk cleanser £7.99, hydro boost supercharged booster £14.99 hydro boost water gel moisturiser £12.99 when wanting/needing some new skincare the other day!

So, lets do this in routine order.

Starting with the hydro boost gelee milk cleanser £7.99

This was the one product in this trio that was more a want purchase than a need! i have plenty of cleansers, but im a sucker and wanted to try this as it sounded really gentle and mild and perfect for the morning cleanse! so this is a very light milk gelee cleanser, its texture is a gel but its got a white tint to it, it says on the bottle that it doesnt need water but i subscribe to the caroline hirons way of doing things so i of course remove it with a flannel! And it works very well this way, its not drying in the slightest, its gentle but my skin still feels clean, ive used it morning and night and its just really good but quick, it reminds me a bit of the avene extra gentle cleansing milk, but in a pump bottle! and a little bit lighter i think.

Next up is the hydro boost supercharged booster £14.99, i was really looking for a basic serum, one that would still feel like i was using a nice serum but be really hydrating and just that extra layer so this sounded perfect. Your first pump or two will be clear, but once you hit the little beads there will be lots of little white bits in the gel, you cant feel them at all however. This serum is completely weightless, as soon as its on your skin it sinks in and you cant feel it, but your skin does feel more hydrated than it would without it. It works really well with the moisturiser too, not feeling too heavy at all! i really like the effect it has on my skin, never feeling oily or heavy but just adding that layer of hydration that would normally be missing.

The final product i bought in the range was the hydro boost water gel moisturiser £12.99, this was actually what i needed most having ran out of most of my moisturisers, the ones i had left i was finding just way too heavy and creating a greasy canvas, this sounded perfect. Ive been using it day and night and its just so much lighter, yet still hydrating and a little goes a very long way.

So there you have it! as you can see, i really enjoyed all the products, simple effective and hydrating, exactly what i wanted!

Cath x

Emotionally Broken – Stretched too thin.


It can be really frustrating to really struggle to not sound happy when i write you know that? even just my normal greeting in blog posts “hey there” sounds happy.

But i dont want to sound happy in this post, i want to sound real, and i want to be real and raw with everyone right now because ive never been too good at hiding my feelings. I have felt stretched really thin lately, i have felt as if im giving 100% of myself to so many different things at this point that its only a matter of time before i break. And the thing is i have been asking for help, i have given in and said ok other people take some of this off me…but it hasnt really happened.

So ive continued going along as i have been, and im just currently waiting for the dam to break. Recovery is tough, and since i finished therapy i have felt this overwhelming pressure to continue improving and pushing myself and this pressure to not struggle or be sad, as if a slight break means disaster. Im very conscious of everyone watching me, im conscious of the pressure to get better from family, friends and just the world in general. Im also very conscious of the fact that the whole way through this journey with therapy it has felt like my last chance, and i continue to feel this way and that terrifies me, if i slip too much at any point, thats it…too many years have i been like this, and it takes years to recover, i feel like if i have a big slip thats just going to be the end, and i know it doesn’t work like that, but maybe i am right? maybe this is the last chance i have to get better, and that is very scary.

It feels like im drowning right now, and the frustrating thing is that i feel like im shouting, that im screaming from the rooftops that this is too much! i need help! i need people! and it falls on deaf ears.

I wasn’t going to write this blog post originally, feeling like i was being attention seeking or silly but in the end, i write this blog to help others, i want to make sure no one feels alone, and part of that is being honest when im not doing very well. I suppose the biggest difference between right now, and when i would have a bad moment before therapy, is that i am not just giving in and letting everything and everyone overtake and overwhelm me, im still fighting even when it feels almost impossible at this point.

I feel like i slipped under the surface again, but this time im going to continue fighting to break the surface, because i just cant give up this time.

Im not giving up on myself again.

Cath x

Boots Haul January 2019.


Hey there! so surprisingly its been a while since ive done a boots haul, and theres a few reasons for that. Having my benefits lowered does mean im being more careful than i was, though i was being careful then too. Ive also gotten very into cleaning and especially buying cleaning products, quite a chunk of my “play around” money going there! and ive just been waiting for a moment were i could save the most to buy what i needed/wanted and it finally arrived. With half off a lot of skincare, lots of other deals and an offer i had for triple points when you spend over £20, the order was made!

So lets start with skincare shall we?

I have slacked big time on my skincare of late, i think because i haven’t had a few things and such i just haven’t wanted to bother so i didn’t! though i wouldn’t suggest doing that, i just found myself slipping that way.

So first off, i was looking for a new moisturiser, ideally something i could use morning or night but mainly morning with a lighter texture but still hydrating, ding ding ding! Neutrogena hydro boost water gel moisturiser £12.99 ticked all of those boxes so i picked it up. I knew i also wanted a morning serum, a really simple hydrating serum and the same range had exactly what i wanted the Neutrogena hydroboost supercharged booster£14.99. I didn’t really need a new cleanser, but i spotted an interesting one from the same range so i picked up the Neutrogena hydroboost gelee milk cleanser £7.99. Theres something satisfying about using 3 products from the same range! and as a heads up, i bought all of these at half price.

A few bits that dont really have a category as such, I picked up more Boots smooth care hair removal cream £3.49 because i needed it, the Barry m base coat, top coat and nail hardener £2.99 being my favourite top coat and i needed more! And finally, the Boots cracked heel balm £4.89 because my feet are forever a disaster, and im trying to try out a few different things to do a post about it eventually!

Make up wise, only two products go me! getting a moment to play with makeup is unheard of these days so i dont buy half as much as i used too, but i needed new mascara! i was going to get another tube of my favourite soap & glory but it wasn’t in stock and i had been curious about the Maybelline snapscara £7.99 for a bit so i picked that up. And then i always use a waterproof mascara as like a top coat, normally maybelline the rocket but couldn’t find the waterproof version online, so instead i got the Maybelline colossal mascara waterproof £6.99.

Finally, hair! my hair has been showing damage, its been dryer and breaking a lot so ive started listening too it and trying to help it as much as i can. Hair masks as if they are going out of style is the first port of call and i adore garnier for these, and then i spotted these Garnier ultimate blends hair food papaya 3 in 1 damaged hair mask treatment 300ml £6.99. First things first this pot is massive! i loved the sound of papaya and hair food, so in the basket that went. I also spotted these new conditioners loreal have brought out, Loreal elvive full restore rapid reviver damaged hair power conditioner £5.50 these are meant to be stronger than your normal conditioner but dont need to be left on, sounds good to me! so i thought i would give that a go too. I knew one thing i wanted to get and start being better about was a heat protector so i got the John Frieda detox & repair care & protect spray £5.99, so many heat protectors ive used in the past are annoying and sticky so something designed to be caring too sounded good! Finally, i really wanted to try something from the new soap & glory hair care range, and i needed a new styling serum/oil so i got the Soap & glory split happens conditioning styling oil £7.50 to give it a go, has i always finish my hair with a serum/oil.

So there we go! made up for lost time i think? what have you picked up lately? let me know!

Cath x

Elemental Mermaid makeup look.


Hey there! so its been a long time since ive brought to you any makeup looks, but this is due to having not done any! when i go out i wear makeup, but its the same thing i always do, super dark purple smokey eyes and a lilac lip. Ive finally had the light and the moment to sit down and play and im so glad too! i had some palettes i was dying to try, it is quite like the mermaid look i did for halloween, and like a few other looks ive done in the past, but you know what, i like what i like! anyway, i hope you enjoy!



Eyes
Nars smudge proof eyeshadow base.
Revolution ultra brow tint in dark.
Imagic flash palette – the white cream all over the lid and into the crease, the dark blue on the lower lashline.
Revolution mischief mattes eyeshadow palette – Saint to set everything, Believer, Indication and Shrine layered in the crease.
Urban Decay elements eyeshadow palette – Heavy water in the first half of the lid, luna in the inner corner.
Violet Voss the rainbow eyeshadow palette – a mix of indigo and violet on the outer half of the lid, royal on the lower lashline and eclipse used close to the lower lashline to smoke it out.
Maybelline master ink liquid liner in matte black.
Maybelline snapscara.
Collection glam crystals in le freak – on the first half of the lower lashline.
Ardell kelly lashes and ebay lashes with duo glue.

Face
W7 angel balm primer.
Loreal infallible mattifying base.
Revolution conceal & define foundation in 0.5.
no17 stay time concealer in extra fair – only ended up using this around my brows.
Maybelline matte and poreless pressed powder in translucent.
NYX powder blusher in taupe.
NYX ombre blush in code breaker.
Revolution skin kiss highlighter in dream kiss.
Urban decay elements palette – luna as a highlighter as well.

Lips
NYX cosmic metals lip cream in dark nebula.
Collection glam crystals in le freak.

So there you go! i hope you enjoyed the first makeup look ive done in a while, i very much enjoyed doing it!

Cath x

Bramble wax melts haul march 2019.


Hey there! so i havent done a wax melt haul in a while, because i bought if i remember rightly over 22 wax melts on black friday? so you know, i was good for a while! but i opened up an open box the very end of january with bramble wax and closed it end of febuary, so i have a lovely selection of scents here! its really nice to have these back, as i was getting super super low and thats not fun.

If you havent read my previous posts about bramble wax, they are a small handmade wax melt company in the UK that i found almost a year ago, they got me into wax melts and i completely adore them! the scents are always so true to life and the customer service basically cant be matched. I also love the fact that they are all themed, often with a nerdy twist and that is what im all about!

Anyway going from top left to right these are the melts i got this time –
Hundred Acre Honey x2
Time Of My Life x3
Rainbow Splash x2
Life Of Pie
Romeo Loves Juilet
You Are My Sunshine
Ruby Slippers
Tri’pol
A-Grade Impressionist
samples of Make It Double & Prepare For Trouble
Peach perfect x2
Cosmic Jellies
Flash A-ah x2

So there you have it my latest wax melt haul! short but sweet, and fruity and all kinds of good basically! have you tried bramble wax? lemme know!

Cath x

The therapy diaries – The final session.


Hey there! So, this is going to be my last post in my therapy diaries series for a while, because today i had my last session until my follow up in a few months. Ive been really scared knowing this was coming, because i have come a really long way since September but facing the very real reality that it could all just fall down around me without the support of seeing a therapist, its been sitting in the back of my head for a while now that it was almost the end.

But, sat talking to her i actually felt very positive, its something ive found since day one that she has a very positive effect on me, 9 times out of 10 ive come out from therapy happy and feeling really positive so im not surprised she helped me feel better about everything

we talked about how the last 2 weeks have been and then went over what im taking away from therapy, and i really am taking away a lot.

When i met her at the very end of august, she met a girl drowning, so reached in and pulled me out, and gave me a chance to learn how to walk on the surface again. For years, ive been just under the surface fighting tooth & nail to reach the surface, ive managed to break the surface every now and then for a breather before it would begin all over again. But when freya met me i had finally given up, i couldnt keep fighting a fight that felt impossible anymore, so i was letting myself drown, and she reached in and made it so that i was comfortably on the surface for the first time in years.

when i  went to my first session she challenged me. She challenged the thoughts i had always taken as gospel, she challenged the way i saw my world, and most importantly she challenged the fact that i was there, if i had completely given up, why was i turning up to therapy?

And that worked, i had never been challenged before in the right way, and she did it without hatred or discourse but tactfully. We took weeks working on why i wanted to get better in the first place, and getting me to a place where i could with a lot of help make a list of goals for myself.

And the goals i made were –

Reducing self criticism – tick
Getting out more often & regularly – tick
Becoming more independent when im out – tick
start getting out on mondays – tick
see my nan on fridays – tick
become less scared of change – tick
Begin to like myself – tick

All of these where not made with the thought that i would actually manage them! but i have actually managed to do all of them, and to think i was so terrified of setting them because i thought i wouldn’t manage them.

In fact, i have become so ok with goals now, that under my own steam i made and wrote down 2019 goals. Massive, for someone whos scared of what her future holds.

Over the past few months, we have worked on so much but the underlining current was me. It was no longer ok if i did things because of or for other people, it had to be for me, it was no longer ok to hate myself because i should like me, i had to learn to stop bullying me, and i had to learn that i was aloud to work towards being the me i want to be.

I have a follow up with her in June, and i cant believe im going to type this but i cant wait to see what i can do to tell her.

I have spent my 20s and most of my teens broken, drowning in the sea that is mental illness. But maybe just maybe, i dont have to live the rest of my life that way.

Im finally going in the right direction.

Cath x

The Soap Story Review.

Hey there! So a few weeks ago i went to the range with my mum, i hadn’t actually been there before so was quite excited to have a look around. You can imagine that the excitement got even better when i spotted a soap story stand! Mum said that a soap i got in my christmas stocking was actually from there, which i hadnt known but being able to have a look with my own two eyes was great fun! i had to control myself, knowing that the last thing i needed was a tonne more soap products when i already have so many so i picked carefully. I ended up getting the Mandarin hand cleansing gel 50ml £3.00 and the Galaxy jelly soap 100g £5.00, i was having a look at all the products for quite a while but these are what ended up catching my eye the most.


I always like to carry a anti-bac hand gel with me, but im not a big fan of just the standard ones really! i like finding ones that are nicely scented, but that can be pretty difficult in the uk, so when i spotted a whole range of them i was very happy! even more so when i spotted the Mandarin hand cleansing gel 50ml  £3.00 as i love orange scents but had never found a hand gel in a orange scent before. I was so excited i used it in the car on the way home! And the scent is lovely, its mandarin but its not super strong and its also not that super sweet and sickly fake orange scent. Though of course alcohol is the main thing in here, i cant smell it and unlike some gels it doesn’t feel like its disappearing as soon as it makes contact with my skin. They say its moisturising, and while i wouldn’t go that far it doesn’t dry my skin out quite to the same degree that your standard gel would. My biggest bug bare with this gel personally is that for maybe 20 seconds after using your hands are a bit sticky, so you do have to watch it a little, but its not too bad and after those 20 seconds its gone completely and the only thing telling you that you used it is a very light scent still there. I really like it, I find that the nice scent makes me want to use it more too always a good thing!


The other thing i bought from the soap story is the Galaxy jelly soap 100g £5.00. I was looking for a while, but then this soap caught my eye, how could i not! its dark and sparkly, and smells super good. Ive been trying to figure out how to explain the scent of this for a while now, and i honestly still cant place it! i just know that its sweet, and it takes me back to my childhood but i dont know why! of course, there is a novelty factor in that you have a chunk of jelly soap that wobbles and feels exactly like any other jelly. The galaxy one is this beautiful midnight blue with holographic glitter inside, before i photographed it i was messing around and taking it whole out of its tub and wobbling it, hence the mark in it! note to self, dont do that. You can use it in a few different ways, ive been grabbing a little bit from the tub and putting it on the sponge i use but i dont think thats the easiest way to use it. I think that if you can, using it whole like a bar of soap may work better because i found it pretty difficult to break a piece off! though of course my wet hands didn’t help. You get a nice lather once it work it up, and the colour turns more to the purple side which is awesome. The first time i used it i thought that it had dried my skin out a little bit, but when ive used it since i haven’t had any issues so i dont actually think it did!
All in all i really liked both of these products that i tried from the soap story, the only minors were very small! and i think i will pick some other things next time im at the range.

Cath x

Emotionally Broken – The past shapes us, and thats ok.


Hey there! so i had a dream the other night, and it got me thinking. I dreamt that we had invented time travel (bare with me here), and we could go back to any time period in our lives that we wanted too and would be our previous selves but with the knowledge we had now, and could change anything that we wanted too in that time period as long as we understood it would change our future. So i time travelled back to when i was 15, i was seeing all this as if i was watching a movie basically but sometimes i felt like i was the me i could see….dreams are so weird!

Anyway, as soon as i went back into my 15 year old self i made a tonne of changes, i started loosing weight as soon as i could, i dropped the toxic friends, stopped being obsessive and clingy with some other friends and spent more time with the friends i knew were good people. I went back to the specialist education centre i was under and finished my schooling there, getting more, better GCSEs. I changed my style, hair & makeup to suit what i wanted, using the skills i had taken with me to skip the embarrassing stages! I did the college course i started at 16, still at home but i threw all of my effort in.

I saw all of this in like a snippet almost montage like way, seeing myself in situations i hate how i acted acting correctly and fixing mistakes. Has i grew up, i lost the weight and kept it off, i got my first job but i didn’t make any of the mistakes i made there, i learnt to drive, i got a boyfriend, because i could drive i didn’t have to leave the first job i had and i got a full time job there.

And then, when i hit 20 i came back to the future, the future i had fixed right?

And i came back to 26 year old me, fat, unable to work, riddled with mental illness and very single.

The last thing i heard before i woke up was a voice, no idea whos saying “you cant change the past”.

And they are right.

This dream has been on my mind all day, you see ive had the “would you change the past if you could” chat a number of times, and though i would of gladly changed it as a teenager, as an adult for years now ive always said that everything that happens in your life is a lesson you are meant to learn, the past shapes you so no i wouldn’t want to change it.

And thats the thing, in my dream i corrected so many tiny little mistakes that have stayed with me for so long. But those tiny mistakes? they are what shape us, the embarrassing memories and awkward moments, all of these are lessons no matter how small.

And so was the big things, the loosing weight earlier than what i did and keeping it off, the learning to drive, the school choices, friend choices and everything else in between all shaped me into who i am today.

Im not immune to wishing i could change things, and the dream proves that its in my head at least. But as the dream showed, it isnt what is important in the long run.

Because the thing is, if i hadn’t gone through these things i wouldn’t be who i am, and though it is a big work in progress i am beginning to not mind the person behind the mess. And of course, without the past, i wouldn’t have the things i love in my life too.

The dream was a reminder to me that the past is important, and while you shouldn’t live in the past (though the dream ran with that) it shapes you, and you cant and shouldn’t change it.

Cath x